Robert (gurdonark) wrote,
Robert
gurdonark

epistolary



Dear Livejournal:

I propose an exchange: you provide a "like" button (perhaps a "da" and "nyet" button?), better ways to embed media, and the Scrabble derivative Wordfeud, and I will provide a tolerance for facebook-like ad banners.

Dear LG Droid phone:

I would complain about the little 5 p.m. freeze-up, when the touch screen no longer worked. But what is a little [f]rigidity among friends? Figuring out how to fix you was like a cool puzzle mystery solved.

Dear Hyundai Sonata:

I am proud of the 152,000 miles you delivered so far. I am confused, though, by your current intermittent engine roughness at highway speeds. My spider sense, untutored but knowing about auto mechanics, suggests your transmission is in need of repair. I am not sure I want to invest in a new transmission, especially when I plan to drive you only until mile 160,000. Hence, you can imagine my dilemma. Although you have been a great car, I am inclined to buy a car from an American manufacturer next. I hope this little hiccup in our relationship is not a harbinger of mechanical doom, but all good things are finite this side of Heaven.

Dear Amazon.com:

I must admit that you deliver books faster than I return books to the library. But I should still check out more and buy less.

Dear Old Indian Defense:

Thank you for allowing me to repeatedly get playable chess positions against 1. d4. I am glad that I can avoid the Saemisch and Four Pawns Attack with your move order. Some people call you passive, but I prefer to think of you as the strong but silent type.

Dear Hulu Plus:

If you had, say, the complete Babylon 5, we could talk. Perhaps you do, though, and I don't know. I must admit that your service's films and videos make me think that Robert Heinlein's novels will all come true.

Dear 3 dollar and 50 cent/gallon gas vendors:

Remember what happened to the US economy when you hit 4? Think about it before you release the kraken.

Dear fiscal conservatives:

I am puzzled why you let so much attention be devoted to fringe social agenda issues by those who do not really share your agenda.

Dear Sweden:

Every time I read a novel about you, I feel as if I transported to a place both familiar and radically different than the place I live.

Dear hawk:

Seeing you fly by as my car passed brightened my day.

best,

gurdonark
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