I'm lining up two of my nervousness exchanges to go out this morning. That will leave only the latest one to complete.
I'm going to try to mail out the other exchange I need to mail out, assuming my work filing cabinet has the address I need. I have yet another "other" exchange to mail out, but I need to write something in order to get it into shape, and that requires a moment of thought.
I have to admit I am pleased to get nice feedback from my past few nervousness exchanges.
This morning I go to the dentist. My dentist is someone with whom I went to high school. He's a nice fellow. I
am looking forward to this trip every bit as much as I would an ordinary trip to the dentist. He will point out to me in firm terms, I am sure, what a hazard I am to my teeth.
I do not have much enjoyment of pain or negative feedback in my psyche. So today--call me Marcus Aurelius, as my job is to seem friendly but actually be very stoic. I used to be a good stoic. Then I grew up.
I am still soldiering through Rebecca, finding it fascinating reading best enjoyed a few snippets at a time.
My life has never been particularly English gothic romance.
I suppose people escape their lives in these things. I'm a big believer in literature as escape, but it can be taken too far....fall off the edge, neglect one's real life, and that way lies a career in telemarketing.
I also am still working over Portrait of Paloma, which I thought I'd have finished and mailed off to someone last week. This is escape of the ruminative romantic kind. I'll bet, if I tried, I could make north Texas sound as dreamy as all those foreign locales. Let's see...that Costco would have to become the exotic market Cuzco, a members-only curios auction house, and that McDonalds? Ah yes, McDoona's, not so much a pub as a way of life. Soon our local celebrity, Barney the Dinosaur, will be transformed into le Barne, the delightful local Loch Ness style creature. I could have lived in a more picturesque time, if only I'd had the right polaroid.
I'm pleased with what a good mood I've been in this week, after a somewhat down weekend (albeit a down caused almost entirely by my own misunderstandings compounded by a sharply embarrassing faux pas). Sometimes "it's the little souvenirs of a terrible year that make me wonder why".
Oh, sorry, I always loved that line from that old Sundays song, so I thought I'd slip it in. This has actually been a pretty good year, if we can exclude a couple of weekends and
a day or two.
I am pleased with myself that so many things I plan to do in my hobby life are happening, but I want to get my next chapbook finished (I just need to do art/design), I want to
get another little booklet project which is essentially finished across the goal line, I want to get that CD recorded and start exchanging it on nervousness.org, I want to write some poetry for conventional submission to those folks in my "Poet's Market 2002", I want to get my bike tires aired up and begin riding regularly again, I want to ebay off all those excess chess books I bought to ebay off,
I want to go to Lake Ray Roberts and drink in visions of zebra longwing butterflies, I want to get a CD project of a friend's through its last gasps of completion, I want to
write long and rambling letters to friends I only communicate with by long and rambling e mails, I want to buy my father a cool, "right thoughty" gift for his upcoming birthday, not to mention get doll dresses for my niece whose birthday I forgot to address, I want to mail art incessantly, convert daydream to reality by the power of positive thinking, and learn to avoid run-on sentences which use the first person preposition "I" so many times. I wonder if there are any cool mail art calls on crosses.net? I need to mail off payment for that cool CD I agreed to buy. I will use this paragraph as a giant to-do list, and not rest until I am either done or doomed to a life of telemarketing.
I listened yesterday to mandatory continuing legal education tapes in which a personal injury lawyer talked about how to get those cases ready for trial. It was such a pleasure to listen to someone who wanted to impart practical advice rather than try to hold up a sign which in essence says over and over "hire me, hire me". Someday I want to do an MCLE tape which I'd make available for extremely low cost, so that "younger" small firm lawyers are not bankrupted by the worthwhile but sometimes expensive quest for MCLE.
I also want to do more about helping kids considering law careers than I do. So much misinformation, both positive and negative, is given to kids, both young and old, about whether to attend law school. Something about law schools nowadays just brings out the snobbery in every second rate mind who ever held a liberal arts degree and dreamed of joining a country club. A couple of years ago, when I was making the decisions which ultimately led my partner and I to start our own law firm, and hit the internet law sites, I discovered so many kids need a little dose of reality in the great haze of guidebooks and internet message boards. I've tried to do that one on one and on the message boards, but I need to do something more. I see myself as kind of an "everyman" on this topic, a second rate mind on the side of truth and beauty. I had a good run in law school, I've had a good run in practice, but I did not go to an elite school, nor have I worked in the megalithic BIGLAW firms. I suppose I need to do a website, a book or a CD in which all 12 feeble things I know are set forth, as I seem to say them over and over to each year's new students over at vault.com (and by e mail to a few), but my 12 feeble thoughts might be more easily preserved some other way. It's a funny feeling, saying things that are really only small practical things from a very ordinary attorney, but I find that in this world when everyone wants to market something to you, small practical things are the key thing that's often lacking.
But now I must away "ere break of day", so that I may be lectured quite practically about how I am a hazard to my teeth.