I welcome the current strike, as perhaps sounding baseball's death knell, liberating the otherwise baseball-occupied TV airwaves, and clearing the air for more Buffy and Star Trek reruns. I actually paid 2 dollars and 99 cents for a CD of all the various Star Trek themes rendered in their full symphonic dignity, so I obviously am not getting enough Star Trek, even with The Nashville, I mean, the The "new" National Network's seeming commitment to splash ST on the air every ten minutes.
I can think of a lot of other folks that I would send on strike:
a. skateboard manufacturers. I love that bumper sticker "Skateboarding is not a crime!". I would like to create my own, with the coda "....but it should be!". At least it should be when kids do it on my street. Let's fund more public parks with those parabolic ramps of skateboard daring!
b. public relations firms. Did anyone else notice that PR for the latest corporate travesties has gone from merely bad to laughable?
Is the best anyone can do is say "I am not a crook?". How about yesterday's congressional hearings? "Our only duty is to follow Generally Accepted Accounting Principles". Yes, right, but did they delete the Financial Standards Accounting Board statements about irregularities when I wasn't looking? GAAP principles require more than just the ability to use a four function calculator. Send those PR people on strike, in a campaign for more "tuned in" clients!
c. Michael Jackson and Tommy Mottola. It's Godzilla v. Mothra! Send 'em both on strike!
d. whoever it is at drug company wholesalers who thinks it's moral to hoard drugs so as to gouge customers. Those are *chemo* drugs! Come on.
Go on strike, so we can get some medicine sold at reasonable prices.
e. John Ashcroft. The man needs a rest. He should strike for better prayer rooms.
f. personal watercraft manufacturers...they're loud, they pollute, and they're dangerous for the consumer. Let's pray for labor unrest in those plants!
g. Reality television shows. Please, please, let someone strike for less maudlin manipulation.
Yes, I'm just getting wound up now. I feel that a general strike may be what's needed.
Just don't cut off Buffy and Star Trek.