I therefore invert a popular meme, and ask you to answer a series of questions from which I will learn nearly nothing. Pardon me if I cut the 50 or so questions down to 10, as I think I am only 1/5th as good at asking questions as the "good meme".
1. You get to choose a companion for your desert island. Each will be house-trained, self-sustaining and well-read in your favorite novels and well-sung in your favorite songs.
Do you choose the duckbill platypus, the spiny anteater, the beluga whale or the toucan, and why?
2. Tell me what relative of yours you least resemble, and why. Tell me what relative of yours you are least like, and why.
3. Take the book lying nearest you, open it to page 53. Read lines 4 and 7. Count the number of letters in the lines. Divide by 2. Round to the nearest even number. What number did you determine?
4. Tell me your favorite past or present television game show. If you do not have one, tell me about your least favorite vegetable.
5. Imagine we are each stuck in adjoining closets, and neither of us has any idea that the other one is nearby. It is dark, and cold, and lonely, i.e., it feels like home. As we are oblivious to one another's presence, what song do you hum?
6. If you could have nails with French tips, sleeves with French cuffs, or soyburger with French fries, which would you choose? Say disrespectful things about the other two, without disparaging France.
7. Would you rather be a really, really cool rock star in Lappland, or the minister of tourism of Burundi?
8. If you were a used farm vehicle salesperson, what would be your strongest selling point to
sell suburbanites pick-ups?
9. In order to save the world, you must give up broccoli, your most hypocritical friend, or
the chance to ever visit the nation of Monaco. Tell me what entry you make in your new dayplanner the day after you make your choice.
10. You are asked to draw a picture of a pseudophone for an album cover. What does your picture look like? [note: obviously, this poll question, like the ones in the cool memes which seek adulatory suggestive comments, has a point, and may be put to even more virtuous use]. Feel free to cheat with google or wikipedia, but only to learn the definition--let the drawing idea all be your own.
Thank you for playing!