whose heart had turned pearly long ago
approached the entry dais,
where the testing angel waits.
First they checked his pockets,
as the seraphic choir let loose a burst
of songs about fighting holy wars,
and found the coins that said "In God We Trust".
Then he checked out his coat pocket,
found the vouchers
he intended to give to his children
to attend the church school
in the building
with the larger than life alabaster
angels, in whose shadow homeless
people sheltered during winter rains.
During the oral examination portion of the
validation, he attested that he
had exposed all schoolchildren to God
by making them recite
that the nation was trapped underneath Him.
The "clincher" was when he was able to prove
that although he by-passed the ill man on
the road, he sure enjoyed reading the story
about the Samaritan who stopped to help.
With a rush of trumpets, the Gates exploded open, and
he walked in, a song in his heart, and
a jubilant spring in his step.
He was instantly incinerated,
because Hell works that way.