Robert (gurdonark) wrote,
Robert
gurdonark

The Ruling Class

I've not written my "gurdonark holds forth on the California recall" post, although the issues and absurdities catch my eye daily. How (Grey) Gray Davis managed to alienate every Democratic constituency in such short order, how the Republicans chose to lose the last general election rather than run a social moderate (the mayor of Los Angeles)who polled better, and the Arnold phenomenon are a rich mine field. But heck, what do I know? Heck, I even wrote Orange County below when I meant to say something else. Let's THINK BIG. I love to hear your notions and dreams and jokes and thoughts. So please join me in the following Poll! I love to learn about you!




Poll #176104 The Governor of California--Gary Coleman is a Man to be Reckoned with!

You're elected governor of California with 4 percent of the vote. Your first official act?

publishing Arnold Schwarzenegger's Oui Magazine interview in the state legislative digest
3(17.6%)
writing personal "thanks, silly" letters to right wing nuts from Orange County who initiated the recall
7(41.2%)
trying to get a date with a celebrity from Hollywood who would otherwise not know you're alive
2(11.8%)
naming a bridge after your grandmother
5(29.4%)
redecorating the living room in the residence to restore it to Nancy Reagan's "look"
0(0.0%)

What celebrity would you support in a surprise recall election for Lieutenant Governor?

Debra Winger--she dated a governor, and nobody plays better dying characters, and being Lieutenant Governor is kinda like dying
4(23.5%)
Paul Hogan, because California needs more Aussies saying "G'day!"
5(29.4%)
Meg Ryan, because she has always wanted to be a serious actress
0(0.0%)
Gary Coleman--what you talkin' about?
1(5.9%)
I am out of candidates, since Bela Lugosi's dead
7(41.2%)

What would be your big priority for California?

better schools
6(35.3%)
end discrimination
1(5.9%)
better law enforcement
2(11.8%)
just balance the budget, and that's plenty
3(17.6%)
invade Baja California with a peaceful army of poppy-holding lotus eaters
5(29.4%)

As Governor of California, you'd personally attend:

the Rose Parade
0(0.0%)
the coming of the swallows to San Juan Capistrano
0(0.0%)
Burning Man festival
5(31.2%)
the opening of each Schwarzenegger movie
0(0.0%)
Ben Stein's press conference where he admits that he is a closet Democrat
3(18.8%)

The name of your political party would be?

Bread and Circus Party
3(17.6%)
Lotus Eaters Anonymous
4(23.5%)
Touch Choices and Frozen Yogurt Party
4(23.5%)
Better than Gary Coleman Party
3(17.6%)
Moderation in All Things Party
3(17.6%)

Name one small, non-hypocritical stand you'd take as governor of California.

Your first big public works project would be:

saving the Salton Sea from pesticides and over-salination
7(41.2%)
cleaning up the San Francisco Bay so that one could fish for mackerel from the pier
2(11.8%)
adding the "land" back to the "Hollywoodland" sign
3(17.6%)
the Governor of California square at the Mann Chinese Theater
1(5.9%)
building a bridge to Hawaii
4(23.5%)

Your official Governor's uniform would be:

a chartreuse leisure suit
1(5.9%)
Pattonesque jodhpurs and pearl handled revolvers
0(0.0%)
purple robes and a scepter
6(35.3%)
jeans and a black t shirt
7(41.2%)
khakis and a pith helmet
3(17.6%)

Immigration is a big California issue, as the same people who benefitted economically from cheap labor now decry the immigrants who provided it. If you could ban someone from immigrating into CA ,who would it be?

Ann Coulter
5(33.3%)
Penn and Teller
1(6.7%)
Avril Lavigne (though I think she's tjhis generation's Suzi Quattro)
1(6.7%)
Howard Stern
4(26.7%)
Woody Allen
1(6.7%)

You are governor, with a bully pulpit and statewide TV coverage for a speech on one topic close to your heart. Name your topic.

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