My eBay marketing efforts usually thrive on the curious niche advertisement. "Chess books" sell, so chess players buy my chess poems book. Lots of people love electric football, so my album of electric football fields music will probably sell a few copies (or, at least, the 1 it has sold, to the 1 fan who so far can imagine the idea).
But last week I tried a new challenge. I originally got into this "Gurdonark Records" idea on the basis of taking my friend scottm's wonderful self-recorded low-fi roots pop music and selling it on eBay, as an experiment in independent music marketing. But unlike "chess" or "electric football", each of which has a good narrow eBay search term, I am not sure eBay buyers enter "rock n roll madness" or "lo-fi" when they hunt eBay goods. I had to figure out if I could write an ad to make the product stand out.
I decided to give it a try. My first ad for "Meet....The Scott_M Experience" went up on eBay a few days ago. I'm pleased to note that today I got a notification that someone elected to "Buy it Now!" for 14 dollars. I'm pleased that the ad I wrote closed the sale. Here's what it said:
Lo-fi 3 chord rock n roll madness--Scott_M!
Item # 2536832410
"On offer here is "Meet....", the CD by Louisiana's finest native son, The Scott_M Experience. Some folks associate Opalousa only with Professor Longhair, not realizing that a true latter day rock n roll legend hails from that fair metropolis. I speak, of course, of Scott_M, the multi-talented multi-instrumentalist with an ear which works in three chords and 4/4 time, and a baritone ukelele which sounds as though it's had lessons from a guitar hero. If you have not heard "Opalousa Rock", then you're missing stylings beyond style. Have you been doing without good, old-fashioned 4-track pop-rock songs, stripped down to what matters, rock-steady, and sung with an earnest (if sometimes besides-key) homage to all your favorite earnest if off key serious artists?
Do you miss the kind of music that makes you hop out of control and sing along, if only you understood any of the lyrics? While we're mentioning lyrics, wouldn't it be nice to hear something literate but not literary?
Well, Meet Scott_M. This new CD features all the conventional stringed instruments, played on real pop songs with real gusto. Unlike some lo-fi recordings, there's no effort to be self-consciously arty. Scott_M wisely recognizes that there's more to rock instrumentation than making it cry or sing.
The Scott_M Experience, in a word, rawks. "Meet..." reminds you how you felt during your first kiss, your third date, and your fifth speeding ticket. They used to say it's "sex, drugs and rock n roll", but it was always rock n roll, pure rock n roll.
The tunes are cool. "DuMont Network" reminds us of that long-faded TV network from the 50s. "Left End of the Radio Dial" pummels with rhythm guitar over an incessant vocal. "(You) Couldn't Pry Me Out of Your Life with a Crowbar" takes 80s roots rock to places it went too often, but not so well. "(Oh) Stupid Cupid" sends up crickety madness, while "Dead Silence" has that dead on arrival feel. "having a Q" celebrates the culinary excellence of the American BBQ, while "Will You Pick Him Out Again" tackles sheer romantic frustration with vigor and aplomb. "Just Talk to Me for Awhile" tackles loneliness the way a football team tackles vittles, while "Someone for Me", "My Birthday" and "Spastic" all put a new face on longing, and it's not a pretty face. "Mama Don't Allow" is for the Southern Baptist trapped in all of us (against our will), while "Radioactive" seal these tunes off with the raucous rawker they deserve.
Produced by Scott_M
Gurdonark Records 001
Released 2003, from sessions spanning the years; it's time, oh yes, it's time.
Extremely Limited Edition--collect yours today.
S & H in the US: 2.50. S & H non-US: actual postage plus 75 cents. We love our foreign listeners! Canadians get a special letter of thanks!
If you miss rock n roll, don't miss this one. Meet Scott_M. Take him home to your parents. Rock out. Rock on! Rawk Scott_M!"
I love that eBay lets me let my inner huckster free.