January 15th, 2013

dark flower

on choices

I was thinking the other day about how easy it is to divorce actions from consequences when one's view of one's own choices are involved. Last Saturday was the third annual huge scholastic chess tournament at a local high school. In the prior two years, I had been asked to assist in running that tournament, in a minor assistant tournament director role. It was something I enjoyed doing, because I felt I could help out with something worthwhile at the cost of only a day of time.

Last week I realized I had not been asked to assist this year. At first, I wondered why I had not been asked to help out again. Then I thought how I'd gotten messages asking me to help out in other tournaments which I had been unable to assist in running. I had not been reliably available to help out when called. It was not surprising, therefore, that at some point I would no longer be called. I went from being a tiny bit hurt (over nothing) to gaining a little insight about consequences (in a pleasantly inconsequential) setting. I enjoyed my Saturday sufficiently well that it's all beside the point, anyway, but it was good to realize that this is a good example of the results of choices I made about my earlier availability.

The weather is puzzling. Every day it is freezing in the morning, with some chance of rain, sleet or snow, but every day it is above-freezing in the afternoon. Weather forecasts are much more reliable than they were when I was a child, but winter storms are still very unpredictable.