March 8th, 2004

abstract butterfly

a brief note on contentment

"You can't have everything. Where would you put it?"--Steven Wright

It's that "enough" thing that poses such a problem. I think that hypocrisy arises when one pretends to the world that one way is "enough", but actually desperately seeks another way. For want of "enough", I've seen people spend themselves into bankruptcy, destroy nurturing relationships, drink themselves into an early grave, or feel a bitterness because they tried less, and it tasted more like Brussels sprouts than like a chocolate milk shake. Inside one has these hopes and dreams and aspirations, and then one has oneself. The curious thing is that whatever one has is never "enough". "Enough" isn't measured in money or romantic nights or fame or incredible insight. "Enough" seems to be something about exhaling, and relaxing, and living without fear. No matter how much I acquire, it is never "enough".