October 13th, 2003

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liberian dollars

"Dream of better lives the kind which never hate
Dropped in the state of imaginary grace
I made a pilgrimage to save this human race
Never comprehending the race had long gone by"
--old Modern English song

Today I got a bit of spammed e mail which encouraged me to access untold millions of United States grants and available funds. I felt the contents a bit parsimonious, because every day I receive a confidential e mail from a soul in Sierra Leone, Liberia, Nigeria or the Democratic Republic of the Congo, offering to split countless millions with me, if only I will provide my confidential information to the mailer.

We have in the little space of garden bed foliage in front of our home a plant called a "mint marigold". In the way of such things, it's neither a mint nor a marigold. But it is due to bloom later this month or during next month. I can reach down and scratch its leaves, and this mildy minty, definitely earthy scent attaches to my fingers. When I open a junk e mail, nothing real except greed and deceit wafts from the scented e-transmission.

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abstract butterfly

Drinking from the river of wishful thinking

Yesterday morning I had this sense that my blood pressure might be high. I'd had a physical earlier this year in which the readings came in a tad high. I failed to keep the follow up appointment intended to analyze this issue. But somehow, lately, I feel something that I associate with high blood pressure. So on my way to take my walk, I stopped in a Tom Thumb grocery store. They have a free blood pressure machine there. I dislike the process of having my blood pressure taken, as the pressure always makes me wonder if my arm will pop like a balloon. Sure enough, the reading was solidly in the "above normal" ranges. I decided that I must re-set that doctor's appointment, remove caffeine from my life once more, and return to my former patterns of healthier eating.
Today I did without my proverbial passel of diet cokes. I feel a mild sense of withdrawal. The webMD article suggested I take it slow--but it's Thanksgiving in Canada. Hence, cold turkey.

I have pulled off caffeine before, always finding my life slightly more livable after I do so. Yet in the past, I've reverted back over time. In high school, I once decided to
stop being sarcastic. Those who know me may realize this is a big step for me. I am one of those people more oriented toward the ironic and sarcastic in my daily humor than to other modes. But for weeks at a time, I avoided making any jokes at anyone's expense. I tried not to feign one thing, when I sarcastically meant another. Guess what? The sky opened, people responded more favorably, and the world became for me a more peaceful place. By my freshman year of college, I had reverted to form. I find that these dramatic changes of personality, possible in the hormonal rushes of teenage years, fade after some weeks.

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