May 11th, 2003

abstract butterfly

mothers matter

My parents called us the first thing this morning. They were full of news and reports from home. The old party barge that looks like a green pillbox on pontoons is back in the river. My sister's stepdaughter graduated from a high school class at the country school at which my sister teaches--there were 13 graduating seniors this year. School consolidation will probably eliminate that school district next year. School consolidation already eliminated my high school years ago, leaving me a kind of man without a country. The Corps of Engineers is soon bringing its large boat, to take people on a dining cruise. An Arkansas political cartoon used to lampoon the local Corps, portraying it as a huge personified mechanical crane wearing a hat which says "Keep Busy!". I prefer the Corp keeps busy on dinner cruises instead of digging up darter habitat.

My father's class is coming up on its forty fifth reunion. My baby sister will turn 39 in August. My mother told me of books read,about that Miss Julia who does cantankerous things.

My mother suffered serious health setbacks both last year and this year, which make me realize how much she means to me. In our family, she is the binding glue, the stability, and the pragmatic voice of comfort. The front hallway of my parents' house this year contains hundreds of cards from well-wishers. Each card says words to the effect that "I know you're strong, and hang in there". I know my mother is strong, too, and I am glad of her strength. So much in life demands so very much strength, and so much calm determination.

Childhood is such a tough time for so many folks. It almost feels boastful to write what a happy childhood I had. But I had a great mom, and that makes a huge difference.
abstract butterfly

ways out, ways in

"And she's clinging to the nearest passer-by
And said: "I've lost control again".
And she gave away the secrets of her past
And said "I've lost control again."
And she turned to me
And took me by the hand
And said "I've lost control again"
And how I'll never know just why
Or understand
She said: I've lost control again"
---Ian Curtis

Collapse )
  • Current Music
    Joy Division, "She's Lost Control"