November 21st, 2002

abstract butterfly


An evening at the legal clinic at the Garland Salvation Army again reminds me how truly complex life can be when one is without resources. I grew up in an upper middle class family, had my education paid for, and got a really good job right out of professional school. My life's choices have tended to place me in situations in which an increase or decrease in resources might affect a home choice or the car I drive, or perhaps move me up or down a star when I choose a hotel on a vacation.

Before I went to do my evening at the legal clinic, I was feeling oppressed by my work schedule and a bit stressed out. Now I just feel fortunate. I do not recommend "expose yourself to people in hardship" as a "feel-good movie" alternative. But I can perhaps recommend it as a shorthand way to get over oneself.

One thing I do like about my work life now is that I am never bored. I may get awfully busy, but I never get bored. I also like that feeling that sometimes I know what I am speaking about. It's not that I've gained wisdom--often, I've only gained the wisdom not to assume I know the answer. The main thing I've learned in life is to look up the answer. When I was 24, I was in danger of knowing everything, and work was so darn complicated. Now I'm inclined to see things as much simpler, much more manageable.

I apologize to the producers of ER, who no doubt are exposing me to some essential experience when they show me endless scenes of over-bloody operations. I'm a philistine--I like my television entertaining and less bloody. I like that show, but a bit more character development, and a bit less Saving Private Ryan, please.
I admit it--I like Trollope better than those old-time fangore comic books.

I got an e mail attachment from an opposing counsel which was a letter with a wonderful title--"untitled_0". I live my life searching for that mystical "untitled_0". I've signed up for a nervousness exchange in which I must make something called "hand-designed stationery". I am eager to do a design, but somewhat worried that my left designing hand will not know what my right designing hand is doing.

Another busy Friday tomorrow, and another working Saturday.
But I'm still not in a bad mood at all.