Robert (gurdonark) wrote,

a quiet drive, a calm inside

Today I awoke early and drove an hour and a half to a small town to gather evidence for a case. The traffic getting there was a bit heavy, but when I finally reached the spot, the meeting went well. Then I came back to my office, still during the morning, and got some major work done on another set of documents, prior to an afternoon meeting. I'm frighteningly busy now, but perhaps fright is appropriate to the season.

This evening while trying to resolve my feelings over a minor work related conflict, I came back to my mantra--life is too short. It's too short to get distracted from the tasks at hand. It's too short to let professional matters be affected by feelings.

My faux didgeridoo came in the mail today. It is really fun--a long bit of faux wood which makes an appropriate humming sound. As I expected, I probably could have built one of these at home, but contrary to my expectations, the one I got in the mail is really pretty cool and not just altered PVC or something.

My wife made home-made pizza tonight for dinner, which is a breath of heaven. I have several books going now, but I feel that I'm missing a critical novel or non-fiction in my life now. I don't know why, but I have a need for narrative--but not just any narrative, the right narrative, a story that will capture me and transport me to a far away place.

We're puzzling over future vacations. It's so hard to take large blocks of time off work. I much prefer numerous short bursts of vacation, but then one is more restricted in one's choices.
I realized today that a weekend I'd hoped to spend away this weekend is going to be partially consumed by work, and partially consumed by rest. I could use a moment's burst of escape.
Perhaps all the escape is internal, though, and it's not so much a matter of a travel map as of a soul which is always mapping things out. I discovered today the cool LiveJournal function which allows one to get a listing of one's friend's birthdays. I don't know if it's a "paid user" thing or what, but it works for me when I type: My friends list shows no particular zodiacal trends, which is just as well, because I don't really believe in astrology, and it would be a minor hassle when I am so busy to have to change my cosmology once again.

I found out very recently that I will have to spend Halloween on the road. As my wife said, I'm always travelling on Halloween. Some story of my life is metaphorically told therein, but I'm not sure which one.

This morning I had a nightmare about things undone, but tonight I feel that I can get it all listed, addressed and done. What a difference a day makes, like the 24 little hours in the disco song.

I was amused when a potential ebay buyer asked me if I had a pic of my Daher Decorated oriental nut dish I am ebaying for a penny after being unwisely attracted to it at an estate sale. I am not (quite) that crass, but I was tempted to reply that if I'd had a digicam set up to list a picture, I might have increased the minimum bid to a dime.

Maybe I need to set up a guppy or platy fish tank, and buy euphorbia, and set up a terrarium. The world is so full of white vans and weapons programs, I feel the need for a little domestic
connectedness. Maybe if I hum into my didgeridoo, I'll feel myself driving roots deep into some foreign, yet home-like, soil. I spend my life on a mission to find an inner home--on Mars.

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