I read all the same Reader's Digest articles that everyone else reads about the virtues of assertiveness. Certainly I agree with the idea that one need not always suffer in silence. But while I am glad that I am more direct, I am not sure I gain that much by the way I bring things to confrontation. I am by nature a tactless country boy, who has, over the years, learned how to be reasonably (and to some in my real life, maddeningly, elusively) subtle. Subtlety has its place, as a social lubricant. Yet everyone has "certain things" they need to get off their chest.
My internal calibration for when to be subtle and when to be bold is a bit out of whack. This will make me take a deep breath, try to exercise more, get more sleep and read a few "comfort food" novels. It's amazing how much more sleep, good exercise and a good,lightweight book do more good for me than years of inner questioning.